Loving someone in two languages
An online connection doesn’t stop at the border. But writing “I miss you” to someone whose language you don’t speak takes some thought. Here is how to do it well.
What gets lost in a too-literal translation
Tender words are the ones that translate worst. An Italian pet name, an Arabic “habibi” or a Spanish “mi amor” carry a warmth that a word-for-word version flattens. And “I love you” in English does not weigh the same as “je t’aime” in French or “te quiero” and “te amo” in Spanish: people say them to different people, at different moments.
The opposite trap exists too. A translation that is too polished can sound false. Someone who writes in relaxed chat language, with abbreviations and emojis, does not want to be turned into textbook prose.
Formal or informal: choosing your register
Many languages make you choose between a familiar and a polite way of speaking. Switching to the familiar form too fast can surprise someone; staying formal for too long can feel distant. The easiest guide is the other person: watch how they write to you and follow their pace.
If you are not sure, start slightly more polite than you would be at home and let them invite the change.
Common-sense precautions
Meeting someone at a distance calls for caution, whatever the language:
- Never send money, gift cards or access to your accounts to someone you have not met in person.
- Be wary of anyone who wants to leave the app very quickly for another messenger, or who brings up money early.
- Ask for a video call before getting more involved.
- Tell a friend or relative before a first date: where, when and with whom.
Make the language gap part of the story
Learn a few words in their language and let them hear a few in yours. A greeting in the other person’s language, even a clumsy one, is almost always appreciated. Keep the pet names and in-jokes untranslated: they are yours.
Use translation to understand, not to hide. If a message surprises you, look at the original too, because a translation can smooth over something that matters.
With oKiKo
oKiKo’s Rencontres (Dating) section lets you discover profiles and write in your own language. The chat is translated in both directions, never through WhatsApp, and phone numbers are exchanged only if both people want to. There is also a video call with translated subtitles, a selfie verification badge, and a button to let a friend know about a date.
Profiles belong to people who have chosen to activate theirs and be discovered. You can report and block at any time. Nothing is automatic: oKiKo never likes or messages anyone on your behalf.